When Everyone Decides To Gets Married

I began Monday morning by looking over my accounts for the last few years and congratulating myself on managing to pay off all my debts and save £18k during the worst economic period since the great depression, while on minimum wage (or no wage) jobs, and with zero help. That was an excellent learning experience to have at the very start of my working life and something that will likely influence my financial behaviour for decades to come.

Ok, so I'm miles away from my millionaire goal after a decade of living like a Dickensian pauper, but I know of at least two of my peers that are no longer with us due to the toll that the recession took on my generation. So in comparison I think I'm in a pretty good place and can't complain. There were many times where I came incredibly close to joining them, so I'm glad to at least be alive today.

However, since that morning of congratulation I have received invites or notifications of not one, not two, but six major events (so far) that will undo a lot of that hard work. First of all, my sister got married last November. I was just getting back on my feet after another short period of unemployment between contracts (trying to start a proper career at 30 after a series of McJobs is difficult) and it took a while to repay the favours I had to get from family to attend. Following that, I had two 30th birthdays of close relatives, an 80th, and a 21st (all requiring big gifts - my family love big events and presents). Fortunately, since January I've had a break from using up gift money so I've had time to restock my gift account (yep, I have a savings account just for presents). I have another big wedding in the summer for my cousin, which I've had time to plan for. However, I've now discovered that I need funds for two more weddings, a new baby, a 21st, as well as a 30th and two 60th birthdays. And these are all close family members (yay for huge dynasties), so I can't avoid the parties and gifts without being a social pariah forevermore.

But having so many big events so close together is going to hammer my bank account! I don't earn much above minimum wage, so it takes forever to save up. And my family all earn significantly more than me (or have married wealth), and have homes, cars, all the basics already covered (unlike me). So keeping up with them is incredibly difficult yet expected by everyone. I can't count the number of times I've got into rows over non-attendance at 'important' events or have been accused of being cheap because I couldn't afford to go to some party or dinner. It's a difficult balancing act. I'm hoping after the next 18 months is up, that will be it for weddings, babies and milestone birthdays. Either that or I'll have to emigrate!