Spent (Game Review)

Thank you to the person who sent me this game originally. As promised, I sat down and played it a few times, but still have to strongly disagree with you on its premise of poverty (at least in the west) being completely outside of an individual's control.

Every time I play this game, I end up in profit.

If the point of this game is to highlight how difficult it is for an individual in low paid work to survive (or even save money), then it fails spectacularly. In fact, to me it only emphasises the effects of an individual's bad choices. Sorry, not sorry.

Some of the scenarios it includes just forgo any basic common sense:


"Your family pet is sick and won’t get better without treatment. What do you want to do?"

Who on earth has pets while on low paid, insecure work? Especially when you already have a child to take care of (also a stupid decision to make if you can't afford to look after them). I didn't think of getting another cat or dog until I was on a decent salary, with enough savings to cover long term unemployment, had secure housing, and knew I could afford to take care of said animal even if my financial situation dramatically changed for the worse. I certainly couldn't have afforded to raise a child. You plan ahead for these things or simply don't do them. Having a pet or a child is not a necessity in life. You may really reeeeeally want one (I would have loved to come home to a cute, furry creature after a hard day at work), but adults are supposed to have this thing called self control that stops them acting like self entitled brats after puberty ends! If you can barely afford to take care of yourself, you have no right to be demanding that another living creature be dependent on you.

"Your child’s sneakers are falling apart and it’s time to buy new ones. Name brands are important, but they don’t come cheap."

Why the hell are "name brands" important? Even if I was a super rich parent, I would refuse to waste money on fashion labels. I have money to waste on fashion labels now and still don't. You teach your child how advertising works, how and why so many things are over-priced junk, and why they should save their money for more important things in life than impressing shallow idiots.

"Your credit card kept you afloat while you were trying to hold onto your home. But even though the house is gone, the balance isn’t."

If you over-leveraged yourself on a house purchase (a stupid thing to do in the first place), you should have downsized the moment you realised you were struggling to pay the bills rather than dragging it out and using credit cards to continue living a lifestyle above your means.

"Your payment of $500 for your car loan is due..."

Why on earth do you have a car loan that is a third of your take home pay? Why on earth do you have a car loan at all? If you're broke, you either get up earlier in the morning and take the bus/train (yeah it's rubbish to do, but most of us had to at some point) and/or save up cash for a low end second hand car. And even if you do earn enough money to easily cover a $500 a month car loan, it's far more sensible to just pay in cash so you don't have a debt hanging over you if your situation changes. You certainly don't waste money that's not even yours just to get something 'nicer'. "Oh my god, the stupid, it burns!"

"Everyone is pitching in for a lottery pool. What do you want to do?"

Point out the odds of ever winning a significant amount on the lottery are even less than the odds of becoming a movie star or death by falling out of bed. Basically, too low to worry about.

"A bunch of friends are going to a free concert tonight, and you want to go – but you’ve got a kid to worry about."

Yeah, it's not fun being a parent when you didn't bother to consider if you could actually afford to raise a child. Maybe avoid doing that again and make sure you teach your son/daughter to think about the long term impact of their behaviour.

"Your stress level is through the roof these days. A friend who hears you venting offers you a cigarette to take the edge off. What do you want to do?"

(facepalm)

"Your new apartment is too small for your stuff. Do you want to spend $45 to rent a storage unit?"

Yeah, why the hell not. Fill it with those $100 shoes, lottery tickets, cigarettes and cute outfits for your dog (because you probably waste money on those too)!


For anyone who wants to try for themselves, the game is at: www.playspent.org

Don't Date Millionaires, Become One!

I was sent the below post by a fellow trading vixen the other day and found it hilarious enough that I wanted to share it with the younger girls I know who read this blog (and anyone else who happens to find it). It's a few years old and I have no way to judge the authenticity, but that hardly matters as the response is perfect regardless of who wrote it or when!

I unfortunately grew up with and know many many women that share the same mentality as this lady, as well as several men that were too naive to dodge these women and ended up paying for it years later. I have older women in my circle of friends and family who followed this route and the few marriages that survived are not happy ones. I have also been asked a similar question directly by younger women hoping to bag millions simply by marrying the right man, and it would benefit them to read how most wealthy men actually view them. In fact, it would benefit everyone if men and women were all more honest with each other, but that's a topic for another day.

The post (I have no idea of the original source):


"A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest of what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in New York.

My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I wanted to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you?

Among those I’ve dated, the richest is $250k annual income, and it seems that this is my upper limit. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York City Garden(?), $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here to ask a few questions:

1. Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)

2. Which age group should I target?

3. Why most wives of the richest are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys.

4. How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)

Ms. Pretty

A philosophical reply from CEO of J.P. Morgan:

Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. There are lots of girls out there who have similar questions to yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor. My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement. So I hope you believe that I’m not wasting your time here.

From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple.

Putting the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty" and “money": Person A provides beauty, and Person B pays for it, fair and square.

However, there’s a problem here: your beauty will fade, but my money will not disappear without good reason. The fact is my income might increase from year to year, but you won’t become prettier year after year.

Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciating asset and you are a depreciating asset. It is not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If appearance is your only asset, your value will be much worse in 10 years.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trade has a position and dating you is also a trading position. If the trade value dropped, we would sell as it is not beneficial to keep long term. The same goes for the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wise decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased".

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advise that you forget trying to marry a rich guy. And by the way, you could instead make yourself become a rich person with $500k annual income. If money is your goal, then this has a better chance of success than finding a rich fool.

Hope this reply helps.

Signed,

J.P. Morgan CEO"



I don't believe this was actually the response of Jamie Dimon or anyone else at J P Morgan. However, it reflects the views of many wealthy men that I have known over the years. Unless they are incredibly naive (unlikely, if they managed to build a successful business), they understand that most of the women chasing after them only want their money. Unless a woman has an independent source of wealth, then they will be on the lookout for an easy path to a nice lifestyle: a man's wallet. It's just the way we are biologically programmed. We are attracted to intelligence, physical strength and material resources to provide for our theoretical babies (even if we never have them). I've met women who live a 'hippie', minimalistic lifestyle and swear they hate materialism, who completely switch gears the second a man comes along with money. Prostitutes should be praised for at least being honest about their intentions.

* I should note that the same argument applies when it is an attractive young man chasing wealthy cougars for their money (although historically it was rare for single women to have that much money, so the opportunity wasn't there for men in the same way).

Despite what many women believe, dating a man for money is a terrible idea for myriad reasons. First and foremost, it creates a completely unbalanced power dynamic like that of a parent and child. Instead of developing skills, knowledge, and intelligence to compete with other humans in the world, the woman just latches onto her husband and learns to whine or complain if they want anything; much like a spoilt child learns to sweet talk or nag their parents if they want a new toy. At 20, this might be cute to some people (or, at the very least, easy enough to ignore). But after years of marriage it gets old fast. A 40 year old whining to their husband that they want a new car, a pretty dress or a day at the spa is painfully awkward to watch! Someone forced to depend on another person out of necessity is one thing. But using someone out of choice because you lack the motivation to compete as an individual is pretty pathetic. Not only does the husband quickly lose respect for his wife, but the wife loses respect for herself. Everyone knows deep down when they are taking advantage of another person and it isn't a good feeling. Over time it damages your self esteem and that of your partner.

I've known a lot of young women who think this lifestyle will make them happy. They view it as a much easier route than having to grow up and work for a living. If they want something, they just grab their husband's credit card and it magically appears. They rarely see the other side of this type of relationship; what this dynamic looks like a decade or so later, when they are both older.

I have.

When I worked in finance I saw it many times and it was pretty sad. The women still hadn't mentally matured at 40. They had an older body, but still thought and acted like entitled 16 year olds and had become dependant on their husband for everything. Except now they had to work harder at demanding things and the 'cute whining' had become passive aggression, insults or constant fights. The second their husband was out of the room, they would be joking about how easy it was to get what they wanted from 'idiot men', how little they valued their husband as anything more than a walking wallet, or complaining that he wasn't earning enough to meet their ever increasing requirements. It wasn't attractive. Their husbands were now sick and tired of dealing with someone who was essentially a demanding brat and were either in the process of upgrading to a new wife or were busy running around in their free time with other women. Divorce was the usual route. After which, the entitled woman was forced to grow up and either learn to manage the finances she was left with (this is where people like me had to get involved, since they inevitably failed) or try to start a new career without any marketable skills or recent experience.

Even during the 'good years' of this type of relationship, the woman doesn't get the perfect lifestyle she expects. Yes, there will be a lot of shiny, expensive stuff. Lots of stuff. If stuff is all you care about, that might work for you. But along with the damage to your self esteem, there will be a lot of boredom. A lot of time spent alone while your successful other half is out working for all that money he has. And since you don't have your own career to keep you just as busy, you will notice all that spare time. Even if you try to fill it with random tasks like shopping, manicures, housework, pets, TV, endlessly redecorating the house, you will notice it. Rich guys tend not to have much time or inclination to entertain you when they aren't busy with clients. They live in a world of busy, successful, motivated people and rush around all day. They will want to relax or do something they enjoy when they finally get home, and after climbing the walls all day you will struggle to spend yet more time doing not much of anything. I frequently heard the same complaints from these women: "I'm bored!", "He never pays me enough attention!", "It's always about what he wants to do!", etc.

And just because a man has a lot of money doesn't mean he will spend it on you. I've known a few women that were appalled to hear that they wouldn't be receiving diamonds on their birthday, despite their partner having enough in the bank to buy the entire inventory of Ernest Jones. The men in my circle of friends and family who have money generally don't throw it around very often. They worked hard to get where they are, understand what it's like to not have much, and don't see the point of wasting their cash on shiny bling. In fact, one of them could be described as incredibly 'tight', so any young woman chasing after him for the money would be very disappointed. He is a gold-digger's worst nightmare, as he will happily give you pointers on making your own money but you'd more easily get water from a stone than get a single penny out of him!

After a few years of her living off his hard work, a husband's attitude towards his dependant wife changes completely. Either she has learned to bring his self esteem down to the same level as her own (in the same way that young girls are taught that most men can physically control a woman, young boys should be warned that most women can psychologically control a man), or he has turned into a control freak. I've seen the latter happen a few times, once the man is frustrated enough paying for his wife's free ride and has lost respect for her. Instead of just ending the relationship, he becomes domineering, aggressive (at least verbally), and angry. Since it is obvious to everyone that she is using him for money, he starts to expect incredibly high standards from her in all other areas to rebalance things. This is where you get the 'trophy wife' stereotype - the rail thin, botoxed, bleach blonde, perma-tanned bimbo with zero personality and a permanent smile, who has to be on call the second her husband randomly decides he wants to do something. Her views, interests and hobbies no longer matter. She is basically treated and viewed as a non-sentient sex toy and berated the second she steps out of line. I've heard the way these men talk about their wives behind their backs, or even in front of them, and always feel sick at the way the women just accept it in return for the continued access to money. I don't feel sorry for them, as they agreed and continue to agree to that exchange, but I could never do it. A gilded cage is still a cage.

The writer of the above response is correct that anyone relying on just their looks will quickly depreciate in value. When judging someone as a potential partner, humans generally consider a range of factors and calculate that individual's overall score - their 'net worth' as a mate. The higher the overall score, the more valued you will be as a potential partner. Appearance and wealth are the two most influential factors, although there are several others that can close the gap if you lack one or both of those - celebrity, charisma, a sense of danger (the 'bad boy' phenomenon), potential future earning ability, etc. Generally, women will date young men for looks and older men for money. Men will date young women for looks and, in today's economy, older women for money (getting propositioned by much younger guys has been a huge eye opener for me since hitting my mid 30s!). But if there is nothing else keeping them with you, then going broke or getting old will usually put an end to the relationship. A bad investment or over-levereging can wipe out a formerly successful CEO even faster than the most experienced gold-digger, and there is only so much that botox can do once you've hit middle age!

Find someone that you would still enjoy being around if they were old and/or broke; someone who makes you laugh, who you respect, with similar intelligence, interests, values, someone who makes you feel motivated and respected and knows how to calm you down and make you smile when everything around you is going to hell. If looks are really that important to you, then money can turn a 5/10 into at least an 8 or 9 (male or female). But you can't buy the rest for any price.

Unless you have an army of young children at home, then there is no good reason to rely on someone else financially. Even in that situation, I know women who run profitable online companies from home that they scale up once the kids are older and less of a handful. They don't just quit the economy because they can, and their marriages are much happier and balanced because of it. They aren't cut off from the corporate world and retain the skills, experience and self esteem to compete on their own terms if they return to a PAYE career later on.

I try to give any young person I meet as many pointers as I can on creating their own wealth, so they never feel as though they have to be reliant on another person. I've seen what the lives of gold-diggers are really like and in the long run they are nothing to be envied. The novelty of expensive restaurants, sports cars, and exotic holidays will eventually wear off (honestly), and once your rose-tinted glasses have disappeared you are left dealing with an empty and psychologically destructive relationship that will struggle to survive.

Wasting Away!

I spent several years working in various finance roles in my 20s, and got to see inside the wallets of thousands of individuals and companies during that time. It always surprised me how they fell into one of two groups pretty neatly - spenders and savers.

I've discussed saving (and investment) previously, but haven't yet covered spending behaviour. Specifically, what are people spending their money on that prevents them from having spare cash to play with at the end of the month? Interestingly (to me anyway), there are certain items that appear again and again on the bank statements of this group. Cutting, or at least reducing, the amount of money spent on these items would help them reach their financial goals much faster.


1. Credit Cards

The number one unnecessary expense for most people is debt; normally in the form of credit cards. Some very lucky people are born with the willpower to successfully manage regular credit card use without ever getting into trouble. I'm not talking to you people. You're doing fine and don't need this advice. I'm talking to the vast majority of people who think they can successfully manage a credit card and quickly find out they can't. The people that the banks rely on to make them money. And the banks make a lot of money from you!

Credit cards are the last thing that most people should be getting involved with. Certainly not if you are already struggling to pay the bills. They are designed to hook you into a debt cycle that keeps growing. Once you miss a payment, interest gets added on and the amount you owe grows. Can't afford to pay back the new amount on time? The bank adds more interest. Now you have an even bigger sum to pay back. Can't pay back the new amount? More interest... and so the cycle continues. Most people struggle to pay just the minimum payments and carry the debt over for years. According to The Money Charity, the average UK credit card debt per household in 2018 was £2638 with an average interest rate of 18.67% (ouch). And it takes up to 26 years to pay back this debt with minimum payments! If you put that £2638 in a 5% interest P2P or another investment asset for 26 years, you'd have around £9,600 with spare change!


2. Appearance

I'm not talking about basic hygiene and looking after your appearance, but the thousands that people waste on keeping up with the latest fashion trends (I refuse to wear anyone's name on my clothes unless they pay me advertising fees), hairstyles (I cut, colour and style my own or get a friend to do it), manicures/pedicures/whatevercures, skin tanning/lightening, high end makeup (most of which does exactly the same thing as cheaper brands), tattoos (then removal of said tattoos), piercings, and a bunch of other stuff that I don't even notice!

Stop trying to impress idiots with 'bling'! The type of people that will notice and care what brand of t-shirt you wear are not the type of people whose opinions you should give a damn about. Trends will go out of fashion (very quickly these days), haircuts/dyes will grow out and fade, you can take care of your own nails (mainly through good diet, exercise, filing them and maybe painting them on a night out), leave your skin alone and learn to embrace your natural look (the world would be incredibly boring if we all looked the same), and learn to use any makeup properly (relying on expensive products is lazy)! I personally don't like most tattoos or piercings, so I'll leave it there. But just don't spend crazy amounts on them.

Buy assets, not 'stuff'. When you are richer and have all the basics covered, you'll then be able to afford to waste a bit on unnecessary things. Or, more likely, you'll no longer care whether you look as if you've just rolled out of bed!


3. 'Short Cuts'

 

Following on from the above, so many people waste money attempting to sidestep time and effort for a quick solution to whatever problem they have. Gym memberships are a classic example of this. Most people are able to walk/jog/run in their local neighbourhood or park. Most people could fairly easily create a basic workout that would tone their body, cut fat and get their heart pumping. But sticking to that routine is reeeeeeeeeeally hard! So they panic sometime around late December, splash out on a gym membership, new gym clothes, books/apps to track every calorie they consume, and then sometimes around March the novelty wears off and they stop using it. The gym sales team loves people like that. 3 months for the price of 12! Fantastic! Even better if you forget to cancel at the end of the year and they get another stash of your cash!

The same goes for 'miracle fat burning pills', 'miracle detox teas', 'miracle muscle building powder'. People are incredibly quick to buy into the dream of getting the perfect whatever without having to put in the hard work. They don't need to buy a product. They need to change their mindset and get into a healthy and continuous routine.


4. Impulse Purchases

(after a few drinks, these magically turn into 

the world's coolest pair of shoes!)

An ex-flatmate of mine used to hand me her credit card if she hadn't slept enough, if she was feeling emotional, or before she went for a night out. She was impulsive at the best of times, but after several glasses of wine she would stumble home in the early hours of the morning and head straight for eBay while waiting for her fried breakfast to finish cooking! Everything seemed like a great bargain through the lens of alcohol and she would wake up the next morning with a splitting headache and her bank account drained of funds. A week later several boxes would arrive full of glitzy shoes, novelty cushions, and random items that we could never quite identify the use of!

The moment you learn to differentiate between needs and wants is the moment where you regain control of your life. If you really can't be trusted to stay away from impulse buys, then at least stay away from easy access to your money. Lock the credit card away or chop it up completely. The few extra minutes/hours of distance between you and your money might give you a chance to reconsider whether you actually need those novelty reindeer gloves!


5. Smoking and Drinking

Addictive behaviour will cost a fortune in the long run. The average cost of a pack of cigarettes in the UK is now over £10 and climbing. So that pack a day habit is costing you around £70 a week, £280 a month, or £3360 a year! Imagine what you could do with that £3360 instead of setting it on fire! Not to mention the damage you are causing to your body, which (if health isn't a good enough reason) will likely cause additional damage to your finances later on in life. Stop burning and drinking through your money and get a few extra years of life as a nice bonus!


6. Gambling

A 2012 study from Yale University found that those in the lowest 20% socioeconomic status had the highest rate of lottery gambling at 61%, and over 70% of the UK population play the lottery on a regular basis. That's a lot of poor people wasting money they really can't afford to waste! On top of that is the large number of people who gamble at casinos, on internet betting sites, on poker phone apps, and all the other myriad forms of gambling available today. Everyone dreams of winning a fortune and retiring to a castle with servants and a fleet of high end cars. However, you have more chance of becoming an A List film star or President of the United States than winning the jackpot, and the companies that run those schemes know it!


7. Wasted Food

Most people have no idea how much food they throw away each week. Without a bit of planning, the average trip to the supermarket results in around 40% of vegetables being thrown away, 17% of dairy products and nearly 15% of the meat and fish. What a waste! And just think how much money could be saved if you spent a few minutes meal planning before your weekly shop. Learn to love your freezer. Pull out those old victorian cookbooks your nan left you and develop boss-level soup making skills with leftover meat.

Pro Tip: Never go shopping on an empty stomach! It will lower your self control and result in poor decisions!


8. Student Loans

This is going to be a controversial one. One of the biggest expenses for millennials (aside from the huge increase in rent prices) is paying back university debt. Especially those that graduated into the start of the recession and didn't start paying back those loans until a significant amount of interest had been added. It may be too late for that generation, but for any younger people reading this blog (hello B) it may be wise to really think about whether £35k of debt is a good way to begin your adult life. There are cheaper ways to get into most careers that won't require you to pay back the equivalent of a house deposit.

If you're not entirely sure which field you are best suited to then take a year or two out of education and get some work experience in different sectors. Even an entry level job will give you the opportunity to network, and most people are willing to let you shadow for a few hours if you show interest in what they do. Not only will it give you the opportunity to test the water, but you'll be able to save up a bit of cash in case you still decide university is the best route.

Research whether you need a degree at all to work in your chosen industry. Many fields only require portfolios or short certifications to get your foot in the door. Once you're in a company, many will even fund further training and education in return for an agreed length of service.

If you still decide you want a degree, then consider distance or part time study rather than attending university full time. Not only will it stretch the payments out further and give you more of a chance to budget, but you'll have free time during the week to go out to work. I went to both brick and online universities (although I don't count the first degree) and found working at my own pace in coffee bars or pubs much easier than having to sit still in a lecture hall waiting for 40 other students to catch up. If you don't HAVE to physically attended classes, then distance study might be the better choice.

Another Year Older

It took a while to get back on my feet after the last redundancy, but I managed to get some contract IT work to cover the bills and although it wasn't great pay and barely covered rent and travel, I added another couple of hundred to the pot, bringing the total to £25,463.40. Not great, but it's something at least. It felt like I was in survival mode the whole of last year.

I did try my hand at starting a business on the side, but really struggled to find anyone who wanted to work with me (and I can't afford to pay anyone). I don't know that many techie people where I am, and those that I do know are already very busy working for someone else. So that quickly fell apart. I'd love to run my own company one day, as there are so many things I want to build that I need extra hands to help with. But until I manage to raise a lot more funds from PAYE work, it seems that I'm destined to work for other people and focus on investing as best I can.

Which is fine, I guess. I'm back to full time work now, albeit still not on brilliant money. I can never seem to get past minimum-ish wage for long, despite having all the skills that employers apparently love and being a happy workaholic. But it has forced me to learn how to stretch every single penny as far as it will go. If I ever did manage to get a well paid job, I'm not sure I would know how to spend all that extra money!